Thursday, January 29, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
The best week ever...
Love before Daylight
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Best Monday Ever (so far)
Extras!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Gurrrrr
Saturday, January 24, 2009
New Super Story! It's on the side!
The Call
Book One: Ignoring
By: Katie Johnson
May looked back behind here to make sure her older brother was still fallowing her. He wasn’t, he was to busy looking at the flock of birds in the tree above him. “Come on!” she called, her brother’s head snapped towards her then he ran the few yards between them.
“Sorry sis’er” He hung his head, looking at his shoues.
“It’s alright just stay with me.” May sighed. She was tiered, her day had gone all wrong and she constantly made to watch––baby sit more like––her older brother. Luke didn’t mean anything; he just was…slow. She admitted she had enjoyed it when she was little, having an older brother that never got tiered of playing ‘kid games’, never had better people to see, and all her friends had liked him because he was older and still like being with them.
But May grew up and Luke didn’t. He stayed in his never ending childhood as May out grew all her dolls and veggie tails and playing princess and prince. Oh, the doctors had explained it all before, many times. Luke was ‘special’ he would never fully understand the world, would always be a child. What it really seemed to mean was he would always fallow her. She would always be his caretaker.
When she pointed this out both her parents looked shocked and Luke who was usually doodling and talking to one of his doctors would look over and smile nervously. Like he really wanted to always be able to fallow her, but the tense silence made him uneasy, like he was being tested. Then the doctors would recover and pointed out Einstein needed a caretaker more than Luke did. Luke rembered to feed himself. May never bothered pointing that Luke was not going to come up with the next theory of relativity any time soon.
And of coarse they convinced them selves that Luke needed school. Not just any school, May’s school. He never stayed in a class for to long, more like he would wander around and poke in and out of subjects. But this was a new school year and so far he’d stayed in all his classes. For a whole two weeks. Then again now he had the bands drum majors watching him too, keeping him in the band hall for the first three periods, then one took him to art.
Yep Luke was in band, ever since he got lost last year in the fine arts hall and discovered a natural talent for music. Now he had that and his sketches, and his strange ability to make animals instantly like him. Three major skills that hardly helped him in school. The last period of the day was his math and reading. He could add and subtract but that was it. Reading didn’t always work out better. So far ‘The tale of Desprux’ was the largest book he’d ever tried to read. And he was praised endlessly for it.
Was May? Oh no, she’d read ‘Lord of the Rings’ in the fifth grade and could understand ‘The Scarlet Letter’ but that was nothing she still had to do more. Had to make it into the big colleges. She was tenth in her class, but that was no good, she had to be first. She played the flute in middle school but had dropped it for color guard. Her mom made it seem like the world had come crashing down. She never bothered to say she’d published a series of children’s books under a pen name for fear she’d need to start spewing novels.
But not Luke, first born, first loved, first praised, first in any thing. Luke could do no wrong. May could only mess up.
“Sis’er?” Luke peaked at her. “What’s wrong?”
You! You’re all-wrong and get adored for it! I’m normal! I can read cologe level books, take Ap classes! I can memorize Shakespeare and know what I’m saying! I’ve published books! I can…just stand in the shadows…smiled nod and be the cheery girl every one wants… May shook her head. “Nothing, I’m fine.” She kicked at a louse peace of sidewalk. “Every thing is just peachy.”
“But you look mad.” Luke frowned trying to figure it out. “I won’t tell.”
“It’s nothing.”
“But––“
“Nothing Luke! Just leave me alone for the love of all that is good and holy!” she turned on him. Luke staggered back a few steps, shock written on his face. May turned and stormed off. Luke blinked and slowly fallowed her. May was muttering things under her breath that he couldn’t hear. She continued to storm down the sidewalk and up the steps of their house, slamming the door behind her.
Luke walked into the house and into the kitchen. Fresh baked cookies were cooling on a tray by a note. He looked at it frowned and squinted at the words as if it’d help him understand. He thought about getting May to help him but then he rembuered he was supposed to leave her alone. So he stood there staring at the words trying to sound them out in his head. He got store, ill be back, and, five o’clock. There was a funny looking letter he couldn’t rembuer how to pronounce. It looked a bit like an ‘a’ but then not completely.
‘@ store be I’ll be back @ five o’clock.’
Luke shook his head, and picked up a cookie. He heard May screaming into her pillow up stairs. Maybe she’d like a cookie…but he had to leave her alone. He picked up another cookie and a small plate. Carefully he crept up the stairs, trying really hard to be quiet. He stopped outside of May’s door. He could hear her crying now; maybe he should have brought more cookies. “Sis’er?” Luke knocked softly. “Sis’er?”
“What?” May’s voice was horce. “Can’t you do you homework on your own for once?”
Luke stood out side the door uncertain. May always helped him. She was so smart! She understood things and could explain him. “Sis’er?”
“What?” May snapped as the door flew open. Luke blinked; he suddenly didn’t know what to say. He held the plate of cookies out to her. “We can’t eat in our rooms.” May sighed.
“I won’t tell.” Luke promised.
“Alright.” May let him in.
“Sis’er not mad anymore?” Luke brightened.
May sighed; he believed the world could be fixed with chocolate chip cookies. “No, I’m not mad.” Luke beamed.
“I’ll do my own homework too.” He nodded. May smiled softly. Luke was always trying to please every one else, as if the world’s problems were his to fix even if he didn’t understand them. He stood there for a moment the backed out.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to leave you alone?” Luke blinked, as if coming up to her room with a plate of cookies didn’t violate ‘leave you alone’. “I’ll be down stairs if you need more cookies.” He stepped out and scampered down the stairs.
May flopped back on her bed. It would be so much eseyr to be mad at him if he wasn’t so sweet to her…in a little kid way. Always the little kid way. She herd something spill all over the tile floor and Luke voice piping out an “Oppes”. May bit in to one of the choclet chip cookies. It was Friday, football game tonight at five o’clock. Then who knew, there was going to be homework that was all that was for sure. She needed more cookies.
Luke looked down at the scattered M’M’s on the floor. “Oppes.” He’d only meant to use them for his math, not spill them all over the floor. He didn’t want them on the floor. Luke bent down about to pick them up, but the candies were no longer on the floor.
They floated up to even with his hands. Luke blinked and pointed at the candy jar. The rainbow of bright chocolates flew in the glass container as the lid opened it’s self, closing as the last one fell in. Luke continued to stare at the jar, he’d done that. Some how he’d done that. He turned and looked at the water in the flower vase. Could he do it again? Luke stared at the water and beconed slowly. The water snaked out forming in to an orb above the vase.
“Luke!”
Water splashed everywhere as Luke jumped. May stood in shock, not fully ready to believe what she saw.
“Sis’er?” Luke frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“You Luke, there is something very wrong with you.”
Ta Da! Thats the first chapter! I found the color button!!! Whooo this is fun! Al right I'm going to stop cuz I've got a line of children behind me!
R&R!
Friday, January 23, 2009
I work in a windowed Fort Knox
second verse
Sing with mee
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Karma's a You-Know-What
To My Husband
Russians and Blackberries!
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Travel
I miss them.
Marley and ...Us
HELP ME!!!!!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Guess What?
From Bella
Sunday, January 18, 2009
When I finish packing ... yeah, right!
Friday, January 16, 2009
the keys
"it is still your fault for making my mind turn to mush!"
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Odwalla: Jovial Juicers or Crack Conspirators?
So I decided to go use the last of my Starbucks gift card. You know what I bought with it? Coffee, right? Because that's what any normal person would get at a coffeehouse, right?
Wrong. I bought orange juice. I LOVE this stuff! The ingredient list, I'm sure, is missing an ingredient: cocaine. This stuff is unbelievably good and addictive. For my birthday, or for like Martin Luther King day, or maybe World Ninja Day (it exists-look it up), if you need ideas, a box of Odwalla Orange Juice would be just ducky.
On an unrelated note, we have officially transitioned out of Good Music season. Only a few more months before Good Movie season! Gah!
On a further unrelated note, it is now 8:45 and Katie was supposed to be out 15 minutes ago. Excuse me while I go lobotomize myself with an ice pick. Grr.
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone
Scratch that
Pahkah, mahyee droozay!
(phonetic russian isn't nearly as impressive as it's cyrillic counterpart. *sadface at no cyrillic on my phone*)
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Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone
And cue the ominous music ...
- IAS 2003: Global Community
- IAS 2603: Governments Around the World
- IAS 3003: National Security Policy
- PSY 1113: Elements of Psychology
- SOC 1113: Elements of Sociology
- RUSS 2223: Intermediate Russian - Con't
- PSY 4510: Psychology Practicum
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
OK, JOHNSONS!
It's not rocket science. The posts don't have to be perfect, or the best writing in the world. They just have to be vignettes of your lives. Enquiring minds want to know what you are up to!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Christmas Letter, Part 2
Family, Friends and Curious Onlookers,
Well, here we are again . . . left to look back and lament another year’s useless energies spent. Wow - that was a pretty dark opening line for a Christmas letter. Some days being the parents of nine children can be pretty dark. It’s like pushing a boulder up hill, only to have some matchbox car get under our feet right at the edge of the summit. “CHEESE AND CRACKERS! Would it be too much to ask for these kids to pick up after themselves? You’re all grounded! Yes, even the baby!”
Actually we’ve had a very blessed 365 days. This past year once again brought another mouth to feed. We now have a sweet little girl, Lucianna Louise, whom the kids call Lulu. Luci was a petite 10 pound 10oz, 20 ½ inch long baby girl. That was not a misprint - that was her actual birth weight. When we went in for our last sonogram, the tech said she had sono’d a huge baby earlier that week, all of 9 pounds. When she was measuring our little pumpkin, she kept saying “Oh my gosh! It’s so big the machine won’t measure it!” and she ran out of the room to get the doctor. I don’t think she appreciated it when we all laughed at her. Luci was also, for once, born on the day we wanted - Leap Day. She won’t be able to drive until she’s technically 64, and she can never date while I am alive. I am in Dad Heaven. She has fallen right into the role of princess and has all of her siblings bending to her will, even Greta. They may have a little trouble carrying her around, but they do try. For our older kids, having to babysit her is the best “Just say No” program I could devise. They found out the hard way that babies have a reverse switch on their intestinal tract when Katie was feeding Luci a bottle one afternoon and she literally blew up her gut on her big sister and the living room leather couch. Eli made a frantic call to Zeke at school to find out how to clean the leather while Katie had to step into the shower, baby and all. Now that she is crawling around the house, we just have to find a way to put dust pads on her knees so she can do a little to earn her keep.
I am still working at Qualcomm, covering the state of Texas and traveling at least a couple days a week. Lisa is an RN at Children’s Medical Center working as a Referral Nurse Coordinator. She is also one of the first nurses in the nation to earn her CPEN – Certified Pediatric Emergency Nurse.
It has been a busy fall for the grown ups at our house. We were able to take a vacation of sorts without any kids! The kids’ wonderful Aunt Laurie came to stay with them while we went to San Diego for a business trip. After sleeping the first day and a half, Lisa hit her stride and was seeing the sights and shopping while I was in meetings. We stayed through the weekend, spending an entire day at Disneyland (the kids haven’t forgiven us for leaving them behind on this one). We watched the sun go down right from our table, it was a beautiful scene. I took a picture of the sunset and palm trees with “Ta-Da!” and sent it to Zeke, who had come home as reinforcements for Aunt Laurie. Zeke turned around and sent me a picture of our living room and kitchen in complete disarray with “Ta-da” as the caption. Poor Aunt Laurie was on duty that week when the plague hit our band of children. This one burned fast and furious and pulled all the kids, including their cousin and aunt, into illness. Poor Aunt Laurie. . . I think she is still shell shocked and mumbling in backward Latin.
Greta is still skinny as a rail and full of energy. She started preschool this fall at Little Sinners and Scallywags and she is all sharp angles and no tush. This year at Halloween while all the other kids were going as Yoda, a stewardess or as Spartans, Greta went as a Darth Vader Ballerina. A Darth Vader helmet and a pink tutu made up this little outfit. It’s a good thing that she is a cutie, as she can truly be a little pistol when she is angry. It is funny to see her standing with a hand on her hip deftly running the boys ragged with her commands. They take pretty good care of her, and she calls Eli her “Santa.”
Vianne entered the world of public kindergarten this year and immediately had an admirer, who gave her a note that said, “You’re the reason the flowers bloom in the spring”. This is obviously someone that I, as a Dad, will need to watch if he is this smooth in kindergarten. She is enjoying reading and writing books, but she is also learning the hard way that permanent markers are truly permanent, and that Mom’s wrath can seem permanent as well. I can’t believe that we went for almost 20 years with this kitchen table and it is just now that someone put something on the table that will not come up.
Izabella is in third grade this year getting good grades and being a model citizen - don’t begrudge us at least ONE out of the nine behave like this. She plays soccer in the spring and fall and was a force of nature on defense. Often she would dart into a group of girls and opposing players would fly out in the other direction. She is on the rock climbing team and seemed to really enjoy her new Spiderman abilities. On a gentler note, Bella donated her long hair to Locks of Love this year. She now has a little bob cut that she says is “bouncy and delightful!” This new look, along with her funky new glasses, makes Bella look like an entirely different little girl.
Asa has been busy as well with all the things that a 10 year old boy can be. He and I went to Webeloes Woods Scout Camp and enjoyed four days with the heat and bugs. He played soccer in the spring and football in the fall – which Texans worship with a fanatical zeal. Again this year at practice, I told him, “Boy, your going to have to crack some heads to get on the field on Saturday.” Then I pointed to some likely targets and said, in my most gentle football- dad voice, “Smack those three down, son.” Asa also had braces put on this year that we had to crank wider every night to expand his palate – who came up with this medieval torture device? That makes three in braces right now. But the braces must not be breaking Asa’s style since he was the recipient of a kiss on the bus. What can we do - he’s got that animal magnetism from the Johnson’s side, and that quick temper – I mean charm - from the Thomas side. Asa and I went to Camp Grady Spruce for a week as part of the elementary school that Asa attends. Another dad and I chaperoned 8 kids in the cabin. While all the other parents were freaking out over having to keep track of that many kids, I was thinking “Just 8? Why don’t you give me something really challenging? I don’t have to change anyone’s diaper? Piece of cake compared to home. SHEWTT!”
Braden is now our lone middle school student in the 7th grade. He has managed to not be involved in any police chases or underwear up the flagpole (his or anyone else’s), for which we were very grateful. But we did have another instance of near incineration of our home by good ol’ B. It happened, as most things like this do, when Mom and Dad were gone. Braden decided to pop some popcorn and put it in for about 2 minutes too long. While it was burning and smoke was rolling out, Braden was oblivious, playing a video game on the computer. If Eli and Asa had not come down the stairs and turned the microwave off we might have moved in with you!
Braden also started a new practice in our house, Grammar Pushups. If anyone speaks in a manner that is not in accordance with the King’s English, they are forced to do pushups equal to the number of years they have been on this earth. They will either learn to speak like civilized folks, or they will be strong enough to dig a ditch. At the rate Braden is going, he will be pretty buff by high school.
Braden just finished up a science competition in which the project was to create a passable cream soda. Can you believe that?! Making soda pop for science! Color me frustrated, but I made Kool-Aid for years and was never given a grade! Braden was on the climbing team this fall, but I think mostly because he thought the coach was cute.
Braden and Eli shared a number of experiences this last year due to their membership in the same Boy Scout troop, like scout camp, and they drag me along. Why we went to summer camp in southwest Texas in the summer is still a mystery: One day it was 108 degrees! You just can’t do much but sweat when it’s that hot, and let me tell you - the horses are none to happy to have your sweaty little scout body climb on them when it is that sweltering. While Braden was in camp earning his snorkeling, horsemanship and leatherwork merit badges, Eli was up in the mountains on a High Adventure camp. In this camp, the scouts re-enacted the life of the 7th Calvary. You remember the 7th Calvary - led by General Custer? Not the sharpest arrows in the quiver. A couple of other dads and I decide that we should hike up to these boys for a visit. Fifteen miles and four thousand feet of elevation change later we limped into camp just in time for dinner. It didn’t look that bad on paper, but it really was THAT bad. And do you know what Eli said after all that effort? “What are you doing here Dad?” Earlier in the spring the boys were in a scout ceremony that involved Indian costumes. Eli commandeered the role of the “Brave with the Flaming Arrows.” He was supposed to shoot these flaming arrows into the creek bed, far away from the rest of the campers during a ceremony, where two other scouts would make sure they were extinguished. He got a little too into the role and how it showed off his new man-boy pecs, and started to accidently rain arrows down on the ceremony participants. Talk about lighting a fire under you. No injuries were incurred, but I think a few braves may have soiled their loincloths, if you know what I mean.
Both boys have been forbidden to have girlfriends. I told them the same thing that Grandpa Leroy told me, “Women are nothing but trouble, Boy”. Of course, they listen to me about as well as I listened to Grandpa.
Eli is in and out of trouble as usual this year. I am thinking about having the new braces in his head fitted with a shock mechanism and a GPS unit. If you remember from our earlier missives, Elias was a bit of a troubled student as he found the pull of girls and football to be too much to handle. He pulled it together in the spring, and was able to be on the track team as a pole vaulter, but the allure of football and cheerleaders was still there. This year, his freshman team has done well and he was awarded “Scholar Athlete” for the highest GPA on his football team. But, he is still having girl trouble and has caused Mom to spew fire out her ears over his antics. This caused a great deal of grief for our young Casanova and he is now finding out what a short leash feels like again – go ahead and ask him why Mom cut his hair he was growing long short again..
Katie is a junior at Sachse High School and is now 16 and is not driving, yet. I’m not quite ready for the extra gray hair. She is involved in Color Guard/Winter Guard, Literary Club and Beta Club and is taking a boatload of Advance Placement classes. She has struggled mightily with Algebra II, finding it quite a mystery. But one day, in a twist of fate, Katie discovered that there was one thing she got - imaginary numbers – of all things. To quote Katie, “I understand you Imaginary Numbers, you’re real to me.” She had a very busy year. She and I went on a band trip to California seeing the sights. Another wrinkle in her life is a boy, named Ethan. Ethan has been made to realize that Katie’s Daddy will kill him like a dog and hide the body in a swamp for the gators to eat if he makes his little girl sad, or even makes her sniffle. Katie also went through an audition process for acting. She cleared the Dallas area round and made it to the regionals in Austin. It was a great experience and the people at the audition really liked Katie’s enthusiasm and energy. I am still getting used to my daughter looking like a young woman. She went shopping for her formal this fall with her Mom and some friends. A couple of the dresses never made it off the hook to Katie: “Mom, you know Dad will not think that is modest enough.” That’s my girl.
Zeke is in his second year at OU, but is a junior based on his credit hours and is majoring in Indecision. Oops. . . I mean he is majoring in International Security Studies and/or Psychology, but now the minors are starting to add on. Russian is still on the list, but also are Linguistics, Sociology and Criminology. We are continuing to find out that a free ride isn’t really free. (They fail to mention fees and books and such.) He is sporting a room of his own on the 12th floor of one of the towers and actually has his own (borrowed) wheels. While Uncle Rafe is in Iraq, Zeke is driving his car. It’s a stick shift, which Zeke had never driven before, so his Grandpa Thomas taught him how on the military base in South Carolina. Now that he’s more mobile he comes back from college to see us a little more, which is nice.
On one of those trips home, he and Katie wanted to go see The Dark Knight, but this met with strong opposition from Mom:
Kids - “Mom, Why can’t we go see this movie? We are both old enough.”
Mom - “Because it has EVIL in it!”
Kids – “But Mom, even Bambi has EVIL in it!”
Mom – “It is not the same.”
This is now one of the kid’s favorite lines to use as a reason you can’t go out, see a TV program or listen to a song.
Well has you can see, things are still a chaotic mess here 6004 Crest Court. People often say, “I would like to be a fly on the wall at the Johnson house”, but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s far too noisy - it would hurt your little fly ears. You would probably get smashed when one brother body-checked another brother into the wall, from which you wouldn’t be able to escape since your feet are stuck in some peanut butter and jelly conglomeration smeared there by sticky little hands. The laundry piles up and the folks at the grocery store sent us a Christmas card as a thank you. We still drive that 15 passenger van, spending all our money on diapers and therapy bills and shopping in our own storage room to see what hand-me-downs you get. I am just waiting for the day the boys get bigger than me so I can score some newer duds.
You are all in our prayers for a safe and happy holiday season. We pray that our faith be strong, that our hearts be humble, and that our hands don’t string up one of the children just to set an example for his or her sibling...
Merry Christmas to you all,
Steve, Lisa, Zeke, Katharina, Elias, Braden, Asa, Izabella, Vianne, Greta and Lucianna
Monday, January 5, 2009
The Annual Christmas Letter, Part 1
What makes it so special? Well... most people write about how awesome their kids are in their holiday letters. Steve and Lisa hit the highlights - but they are the highlights of the worst moments of the year. And they are hilarious. Fights break out if someone doesn't get a letter.
So I will post it in Part 2.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Surprize!
(I'm going to beg Tammi to write a blog next.)
BUT! She has a household of 11 people, 9 of whom are fabulous kids who just happen to be my nieces and nephews. So actually this is a family project for the kids to write about their day and things that they think and all the things that happen to them. Lisa can post pictures now that she has a super cool digital camera and Steve can feel connected to his family when he's on the road.
Ok, kids - RULES!
No cursing of any kind! Aunt Wally will send Professor Froggy to have a word with you. It won't be pretty. Use genteel language. Don't be a hater. Remember, we all need a cornucopia of love, even if it's virtual. Go ask your mom and dad what virtual cornucopias are. Don't tell them I said to ask and then have fun watching them figure out how to answer that one. :) hee hee