Thursday, January 29, 2009

'Under Russia! push'n down on you push'n down on me!' -Bella at lunch last night. There is some serous Russia hate in the little girls!
 
Okay Olivia and I still haven't gotten very far and are about to go into cram overload! If you ever see a big explosion of flags rifles and Teenage hope/Eyes like yours/Citizen Solder and posibly sparkles coming from Sachse you know why. The Duo shouldn't take that long, we have all the crazy ideas–trowing a 45 and ceachining it kneeling and then a horizalntle and cheaching that laying flat!–And I do mean Crazy! I'm helping her write Dance and Flag she's helping me get over my rifle work! 

We also saw the new Margaret baby yesterday. I'm used to seeing big babies with hair. He waghed nothing! (7lb I think) and had only this light FUZZ on his noggin! 

Yesterday I also put me blinkies down for a wash in the laundry room and did not ever get them back because we were out of sope! So Katie wandered around up stairs and finally grabed a compheter and blue soft bliky and my footie pj's and curled up on my bed that way! (To all you who mock my pj's I was warm! So hahahah)


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The best week ever...

So, in a wave of what could only be explained as serial awesomeness, the University of Oklahoma has decided to cancel classes for the THIRD straight day. That's right — WEDNESDAY'S classes are now cancelled as well, which is way cool because it means that my longest day (where I have classes beginning at 9:30 a.m. and ending at 8:30 p.m.) is NOT happening this week. 

*Insert squee of happiness here*

Love before Daylight

I got to the airport so early that I beat the donut guy into the airport. They haven't opened any of the stores in the airport and they are still cleaning. THe monitors are not even on yet! Sure wish I got the day off like some unmentioned slacker college student that will remain nameless.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Best Monday Ever (so far)

So today was definitely the best Monday I've had at school so far. Actually, now that I think about it, since last week was a school holiday, it's really the only one so far. But no matter. 

Today, I had four classes when I woke up. Then I checked my syllabi and discovered that my first class (at 9:30) was scheduled to be cancelled because she had a conference or something to go to. So back to bed with me. I've got another hour! 

So then I wake up for my next class, shower, brush my teeth, all that jazz, check my email and find that my SECOND class is ALSO cancelled for "personal reasons" of the prof. But no matter, I'll have two more classes, so I trudge to north campus to the Union for lunch and to wait for my early afternoon class (also on north campus). I was pelted with freezing rain and driving winds the entire walk up there. So I settle in with my lunch, open my computer, and it's like the world decided to alert me at once that school was closing. I had several people post statuses about how school was cancelled, then the Borenmeister (OU's President, David Boren) called me (not really personally) to inform me, then I received an email from my school's dean, then from the university's mail service, then a text message from the university. As if all of that wasn't enough (this all happened within the space of 3 minutes), some worker for the Union walked by, placing a small prism-shaped piece of paper on the table saying that classes after 1:30 were cancelled for today. 

In conclusion ... no classes today. Possibly none tomorrow (we'll find out soon). What a great way to start the term. =)

On a sidenote, there's a particularly interesting weather phenomenon in Oklahoma: no matter WHICH direction you're walking, the wind will ALWAYS be blowing AGAINST you. ALWAYS. 

-_-  <--mad glare at wind

Extras!

Argh! Darn profisnal only agencies! Think there so 'special' with there silly little 'resumés'! Any way I'm looking at extra opportunities in Dallas with dad. Apparently some get paid $300! for a DAY! O.o I did not know that! Wish me luck in landing a part!

From Bella. She got her tooth pulled today and it looks like it came out of a shark or something! Way more tooth on there than should be! She can't say much at the moment as she has a hunk of cotton in her mouth. But she sends her love or at lest that's what i got from "Mfilnihnagamdalsp"

I Got a B in phsics!!!!! B!!!!!!!!!!

WOOT!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Gurrrrr

I'm going to kill Olivia many times over when I see her tomorrow! We have only two weeks to put together a duo for judges and have it perfect and she wont answer her bloody phone!!!!!! And I have officially spilt blood for the guard, granted it was my own but...
Kay I was practicing at the gym and i had just got my one handed left hand 45 toss. (see I could already do it perfectly with my right hand but we toss it with the left hand in the show. Can you say poopy?) so being happy and content with that I moved on to the next toss. Heres how it goes:

throw horizontal ceach with right hand with thumb to the left at the middle tape twist in to cradle twist shoulders to the back plane and then dig the cap of the pole down very fast so the flag comes out of cradle and tosses in the air at the same time then ceach and flip the flag over in a single toss. ceach flat to the back.

got all that? well it all went well till about the cradle toss...I caught that with a not so firm grip or some thing so ti slammed into my mouth. Now that whole thing is supposed to be done in about 8 counts so it was moving pretty fast. Brases & pole do not mix at all! They HURT! I'm about to say 'Oh gee this smarts!' when Bella run up 

"Katie are you okay!?"
"Yep! never better"
Bella gasps "Your tooth is bleeding!"

Well it turned out my brases had cut in at three different places. So Katie trots off to wash out her moth and Bella gets us a racket ball room. 
Bella has an interesting method of playing racket ball. She ether A) cases the ball around wildly swinging her racket while let in loses the War cry. ("AAAARRRROOOOOOOOOOO") Or B) puts the racket it front of her face and hits the ball by bending this way and that. 
That made for fun game. 

Santa!

"That's My Santa!" -Greata.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

To Katie from Mom

KATIE! I LOVED YOUR STORY! THAT'S FANTASTIC!

New Super Story! It's on the side!

Okay I got the ida for this series when I saw a book that was split into two parts. Part one The Call. Part two Answering. It sounded silly to me and the cover wasn't cool and the summery wasn't good so i didn't read it. it was all about complexed love triangles but bigger. Like love doe-decagons. too teen angsty and no gasoline explosions! It was all phone calls!
No Fun!

Soooooooooooooooooo,
I came up with my own series to.....well cuz I was on a writers block with my other stories and i wanted too. 
Series- The Call
Book one- Ignoring
Book two- Run Away
Book three- Fallowed
Book four- Hang up
if i have a book five it'll probly be something like "Leave me alone!"

By the way May is not me! Not Me! are we clear? Good. 

The Call

Book One: Ignoring

By: Katie Johnson

May looked back behind here to make sure her older brother was still fallowing her. He wasn’t, he was to busy looking at the flock of birds in the tree above him. “Come on!” she called, her brother’s head snapped towards her then he ran the few yards between them.

“Sorry sis’er” He hung his head, looking at his shoues.

“It’s alright just stay with me.” May sighed. She was tiered, her day had gone all wrong and she constantly made to watch­––baby sit more like––her older brother. Luke didn’t mean anything; he just was…slow. She admitted she had enjoyed it when she was little, having an older brother that never got tiered of playing ‘kid games’, never had better people to see, and all her friends had liked him because he was older and still like being with them.

But May grew up and Luke didn’t. He stayed in his never ending childhood as May out grew all her dolls and veggie tails and playing princess and prince. Oh, the doctors had explained it all before, many times. Luke was ‘special’ he would never fully understand the world, would always be a child. What it really seemed to mean was he would always fallow her. She would always be his caretaker.

When she pointed this out both her parents looked shocked and Luke who was usually doodling and talking to one of his doctors would look over and smile nervously. Like he really wanted to always be able to fallow her, but the tense silence made him uneasy, like he was being tested. Then the doctors would recover and pointed out Einstein needed a caretaker more than Luke did. Luke rembered to feed himself. May never bothered pointing that Luke was not going to come up with the next theory of relativity any time soon.

And of coarse they convinced them selves that Luke needed school. Not just any school, May’s school. He never stayed in a class for to long, more like he would wander around and poke in and out of subjects. But this was a new school year and so far he’d stayed in all his classes. For a whole two weeks. Then again now he had the bands drum majors watching him too, keeping him in the band hall for the first three periods, then one took him to art.  

Yep Luke was in band, ever since he got lost last year in the fine arts hall and discovered a natural talent for music. Now he had that and his sketches, and his strange ability to make animals instantly like him. Three major skills that hardly helped him in school. The last period of the day was his math and reading. He could add and subtract but that was it. Reading didn’t always work out better. So far ‘The tale of Desprux’ was the largest book he’d ever tried to read. And he was praised endlessly for it.

Was May? Oh no, she’d read ‘Lord of the Rings’ in the fifth grade and could understand ‘The Scarlet Letter’ but that was nothing she still had to do more. Had to make it into the big colleges. She was tenth in her class, but that was no good, she had to be first. She played the flute in middle school but had dropped it for color guard. Her mom made it seem like the world had come crashing down. She never bothered to say she’d published a series of children’s books under a pen name for fear she’d need to start spewing novels.

But not Luke, first born, first loved, first praised, first in any thing. Luke could do no wrong. May could only mess up.

“Sis’er?” Luke peaked at her. “What’s wrong?”

You! You’re all-wrong and get adored for it! I’m normal! I can read cologe level books, take Ap classes! I can memorize Shakespeare and know what I’m saying! I’ve published books! I can…just stand in the shadows…smiled nod and be the cheery girl every one wants… May shook her head. “Nothing, I’m fine.” She kicked at a louse peace of sidewalk. “Every thing is just peachy.”

“But you look mad.” Luke frowned trying to figure it out. “I won’t tell.”

“It’s nothing.”

“But­­––“

“Nothing Luke! Just leave me alone for the love of all that is good and holy!” she turned on him. Luke staggered back a few steps, shock written on his face. May turned and stormed off. Luke blinked and slowly fallowed her. May was muttering things under her breath that he couldn’t hear. She continued to storm down the sidewalk and up the steps of their house, slamming the door behind her.

Luke walked into the house and into the kitchen. Fresh baked cookies were cooling on a tray by a note. He looked at it frowned and squinted at the words as if it’d help him understand. He thought about getting May to help him but then he rembuered he was supposed to leave her alone. So he stood there staring at the words trying to sound them out in his head. He got store, ill be back, and, five o’clock. There was a funny looking letter he couldn’t rembuer how to pronounce. It looked a bit like an ‘a’ but then not completely.

‘@ store be I’ll be back @ five o’clock.’

Luke shook his head, and picked up a cookie. He heard May screaming into her pillow up stairs. Maybe she’d like a cookie…but he had to leave her alone. He picked up another cookie and a small plate. Carefully he crept up the stairs, trying really hard to be quiet. He stopped outside of May’s door. He could hear her crying now; maybe he should have brought more cookies. “Sis’er?” Luke knocked softly. “Sis’er?”

“What?” May’s voice was horce. “Can’t you do you homework on your own for once?”

Luke stood out side the door uncertain. May always helped him. She was so smart! She understood things and could explain him. “Sis’er?”

“What?” May snapped as the door flew open. Luke blinked; he suddenly didn’t know what to say. He held the plate of cookies out to her. “We can’t eat in our rooms.” May sighed.

“I won’t tell.” Luke promised.

“Alright.” May let him in.

“Sis’er not mad anymore?” Luke brightened.

May sighed; he believed the world could be fixed with chocolate chip cookies. “No, I’m not mad.” Luke beamed.

“I’ll do my own homework too.” He nodded. May smiled softly. Luke was always trying to please every one else, as if the world’s problems were his to fix even if he didn’t understand them. He stood there for a moment the backed out.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to leave you alone?” Luke blinked, as if coming up to her room with a plate of cookies didn’t violate ‘leave you alone’. “I’ll be down stairs if you need more cookies.” He stepped out and scampered down the stairs.

 

May flopped back on her bed. It would be so much eseyr to be mad at him if he wasn’t so sweet to her…in a little kid way. Always the little kid way. She herd something spill all over the tile floor and Luke voice piping out an “Oppes”. May bit in to one of the choclet chip cookies. It was Friday, football game tonight at five o’clock. Then who knew, there was going to be homework that was all that was for sure. She needed more cookies.

 

Luke looked down at the scattered M’M’s on the floor. “Oppes.” He’d only meant to use them for his math, not spill them all over the floor. He didn’t want them on the floor. Luke bent down about to pick them up, but the candies were no longer on the floor.

They floated up to even with his hands. Luke blinked and pointed at the candy jar. The rainbow of bright chocolates flew in the glass container as the lid opened it’s self, closing as the last one fell in. Luke continued to stare at the jar, he’d done that. Some how he’d done that. He turned and looked at the water in the flower vase. Could he do it again? Luke stared at the water and beconed slowly. The water snaked out forming in to an orb above the vase.

“Luke!”

Water splashed everywhere as Luke jumped. May stood in shock, not fully ready to believe what she saw.

“Sis’er?” Luke frowned. “What’s wrong?”

“You Luke, there is something very wrong with you.”


Ta Da! Thats the first chapter! I found the color button!!! Whooo this is fun! Al right I'm going to stop cuz I've got a line of children behind me! 

R&R!

Wow Zeke....sounds like if i ran the secret serves. Then it'd really be secret. they give directions like me too. "Veer left! jump off ramp and pray you don't hit the rocks! Beware flying monkeys"

Any way from Geata. "Snow flake page. ( :? ) she says you can come over" that's all I can get from her. There so chatty except right when you want them to be. 

My news is:
Two weeks from yesterday to write a solo and duo that amounts to 5.5 minuets more or less. My luck more. It has to be abul to compete in-front of judges by next next friday! And My other duo person is giving me migraines becuse I can never get ahold of her to write more work! Curse you Olivia! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!  EPIC SCERAM!!!!!!
 I got a 100 on a physics quiz! Yes! EPICE HAPPY DANCING!!!!

Friday, January 23, 2009

I work in a windowed Fort Knox

So I just got back from my first day of training to work as a Crisis Interventionist for the University of Oklahoma's Psychology Services Division (or something like that). And while the training was fun (though long at about 5 hours straight), it was a little interesting the first 15 minutes or so. The topic the first FIFTEEN minutes of training? Getting into the building. Seriously. It was VERY SUPER HIGHLY severely stressed that staff members are SWORN not to disclose the location of this building or any of the codes to get into it. It's crazy secretive. To get TO the building, we had to be given directions straight from the coordinator. Google maps DOESN'T HAVE DIRECTIONS TO THIS BUILDING. And the squares in "Satellite" mode when you try to zoom in on the location are mysteriously "unavailable at this zoom level," even though they're available elsewhere on OU's campus. The address that you would type into Google Maps actually takes you to the security station of OU's Research Annex. 

But anyway, so you turn onto the road, right? And you're going along and see NOTHING. There's a sign and then two small buildings that don't really seem all that malevolent. But here's where the directions from the coordinator come in. Now, granted, I can't really give you much detail because they might be watching me right now, but basically, to get to this place, you go past the point where you think the road drops off, around this sharp corner (in fact, the directions explicitly stated "veer left" ... NO LIE), and you come across this nondescript building with panels of dark windows IN THE MIDDLE OF A THICK GROVE OF TREES. The doors, thankfully, are propped open so we can get in, but as we work our way through the labyrinth that is this building I shouldn't be talking about, there's a codelock on EVERY SINGLE FLIPPIN' door. There was even one on the BRIEFING ROOM (seriously, it was called the "Briefing room") we're being trained in! Like seriously, just to get into the ROOM that I'll be working in, there is a card access swipe, a codelock, and a key. The doors to the building are made of bullet resistant glass, and there's also a codelock on those. I'm pretty sure I have to submit like an iris scan and insta-urinalysis each time too (okay, /that/ part wasn't true)

But the part that's really crazyweird? We were instructed that, on our approach AND our departure from the facility, we are to notify building authorities and security personnel by phone and identify ourselves. I assume it's so they can disarm the supersecret poison dart cannons hidden in the trees around the parking lots, though the reason we were given was so the security guards and staff members wouldn't be "surprised when we showed up and do something crazy." 

=/   <--note worried-for-life face

Sheesh!

Dear Mommy...

My throat hurts. 
It has for three days. 
What do I do?

Love,
your darling oldest son. 

second verse

One who box of chreios on the floor
One whole box of cherios
they're all on the floor 
theres no more
One whole box of cherios on the floor.

Sing with mee

Oh 25 peaces of chrios on the floor 
25 peaces of cherios
take one down throw it on the ground 26 peaces of crios on the ground

I'm feeding-or trying to-Lucy some chereos right now.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Karma's a You-Know-What

Okay, whatever indiscretions I had in a previous life, I must have REALLY enjoyed them because this HAS to be a cosmic balancing of some kind — that's the only explanation. 

I just finished updating my calendar with my exam schedules for midterms and whatnot. Guess what?! There's a week later in February where I have FIVE (maybe six, if Russian has one too, but those are never published because we kind of hit them as we go) midterms in three days, and THREE of those midterms are ALL on the SAME MONDAY! In fact, I have "midterms" occurring on roughly 47% of the academic weeks in this term! Not to mention a world political simulation, a crisis simulation, and TEN experiments for psychology!

Yeah, as part of being enrolled in PSY 1113, I'm required to participate in a certain number of the department's experiments as part of the subject pool. So if I come home muttering about "red doors" or "blue sevens" or "black dots everywhere", you know what happened. 

I hate prequel-Zekiel (heehee that rhymes). He massively did me in. Bahh. 

To My Husband

To My Husband:

My heartfelt sentiments I cannot log
So intensely on this blog
That our loving sis created
To keep our love fresh and  unabated;
I'm too shy to meet you at the door
With sweet winks, caresses and kisses galore  
After yet another long trip and time away
I can't put on the drumbeats, link our fingers and to the music sway

But I know the way to show you we are still those used-to-be love birds:
 When you get home tonight, I'll be ready, I'll spare no cost
I'll look deeply into your eyes and whisper those three little words:

"I've tivo'd LOST!"

more small words from the bean

Form Bella "I am cold."

Russians and Blackberries!

Yesterday night darling mummy had to run to two important national security meetings (or something like that) so I was left in-charge of small ankle biters. With the assistance of Eli and Bella we survived the night but not with out some happenings. 
First off fried buffalo in the form of a burger is tasty! go try it!
Second, Lucy wasn't eating her lovingly prepared green baby mush–can't say I blame her, I mean have you tried that stuff?–so Bella held her as I tore apart blackberries. It got all over her face but she downed about twenty of them. Our little baby barry cereal killer. I feel pretty good about this. Baby's fed, nothing caught fire, and the S.W.A.T team arn't banging on the door asking for the boys. Least till daddy called. 

Katie-"Yeah Lucy's fed. She loves Blackberries."
Daddy-"Blackberries?"
Katie-"Yeah, ate a tone of them!"
Daddy-"You don't give Babies BLACKBERRIES!!!!"
Katie-"....Rely?"
Daddy-"No! It burns their biscuits like oranges!"
Katie-"I didn't know it was a citrus!"
at this point Lucy looks over and beams at me....turned out she was stinky....heavy on the stink.

The other ting is. A long time ago I'd played a joke on Bella-bean saying that all the bubbles and other fun bath stuff in the tub was seasoning. she'd been bad and Daddy said I had to cook her. She thought I was joking till the end when I through her over my shoulder and carried her towards the oven "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DON'T COOK ME!!! I'LL BE GOOD DON'T COOK ME!!!!" and you all wonder why she's so good. 
well after she calmed down she thought it was funny and the bath had been fun. so now I'm always asked to cook them (by Bells and Vivi, Greta not so much, she thinks I rely will shove her in the toaster!). 
Well last night I'd made a bubble bath and had asked Greta if she wanted to be cooked.

Greta-"No!"
Katie-"What about Vivi? Can I cook her?" 
Greta-"No you can't cook family!"
Katie-"Oh, okay what about those mean nabor kids? Can I cook them?"
Greta-"No, can't cook the nabors!"
Katie-"You mean I can't cook any one!?"
Greta-"Yes you can!"
Katie-"Who?"
Greta-"Uh...The Russians!"
Katie-"The Russians?"
Greta-"Yeah cook the Russians!"

Sorry Zeke. 

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Travel

Into my third third night away from home. Amarillo has no warmth for me, there is no sweet smile of a little girl, no laugh of a son, no gentle kiss from my wife. This is a necessary evil for my job, and I recieve no joy from it. The food tastes bland without my family around the table with me.

I miss them.

Marley and ...Us

Tell me if you have "one of those mornings":

So I was going to take 4 of the kids to have dental checkups today at 0900.  After a HUGE hissy fit the night before and crying jag that was TOTALLY out of proportion  (that was meant for someone who shall remain nameless-and I think you know who I mean, Kate ), and that I can only attribute to some massive teenage hormonal imbalance,  Kate politely declined to join us so she wouldn't miss any school.  So I thought, What's the big deal? I'll just switch one Johnson for another and take Asa in her place.  They'll never know the difference...heck, I don't even know the difference sometimes.

But the best part was, that I got to sleep in because the kids got to sleep in since we didn't have to get everyone around for school at 0' dark-thirty.  So when my alarm went off at 0530 ( I forgot to reset it), I just thought- as I lay on the sliver edge of my very own queen sized bed pushed to the brink by my bed-sharing 8 year old and restless-and-crying-all-night 10 month old-I thought I'll just turn it off and rest for a bit...I have plenty of time and I'm soooo tired.  I woke up when the clock said 0730.  Keep in mind I still had to get Bella and Vivi up/fed/dressed/teeth and hair brushed/lunches made/homework signed/shoes found/coats on/backpacks together by 0740.  I actually laid there for a minute thinking maybe I shouldn't even try; it's only elementary school; who cares if they don't make it to graduation because their mom didn't get out of bed. Then I FREAKED.
I ran screaming around, pouring cereal down their gullets, pulling clothes over their heads ("Forget about the arm holes, you can get them later.  Open the door with your nose").  Then I happen to glance at the kitchen clock and realized that apparently I had hit the wrong button on the clock in my fumblings this morning and reset the time ahead quite a bit.  It was only 0700.

  Still late, but much more doable. 
   
Anyhoo, I had enough time  to get everyone else up with Eli waiting until the last possible moment to get up and into the shower, picked up Sleeping Beauty with the Wild Kicking Legs that I had the pleasure of experiencing ALL during the night, but which for the last hour that I had been up appeared mysteriously still, hurried to dress and feed her so we could make it to the dentist on time.  I had Lulu on my bathroom counter attempting to clean her up a bit from the blackberry/cranberry breakfast.  As I was trying to tame her hair that she had rubbed into a fuzzball so bad from her restless night that she looked like a cottonwood  tree, and as I was trying to remove the dried-on snot that covered her face so much that her eyebrows appeared glued in a perpetually surprised  expression (YOU KNOW what I mean), I heard all this commotion and dogs barking in the kitchen. 

 I grabbed her off the counter, knocking off my good blush in the process and saw it shatter all over the floor.  I ran out to the living room and what to my wondering eyes should appear  but my  Bandit chasing a HUGE  dog around the house.  This dog ran into the house when one of the boys opened the front door and he was having a ball running pell-mell through the kitchen and living room  and back again.  It was chaos with everyone yelling, dogs barking, us all running to catch this dog.  I finally forced him back out the front door and the boys said they thought it was the next-door neighbor's dog.  They got dog treats out of the pantry to try to lure it into their backyard.  This dog was so huge it stood up to get the treat, put its paws on Asa's shoulders and was still a head taller.  THANK HEAVENS it was friendly, kind of like an overgrown puppy, as my kids haven't met a dog they thought would do them any harm.   Turns out it didn't belong to the neighbors.
   
  The boys came in and we had to go as we were now running behind to go to the dentist.  I went back into my bathroom to clean up  the mess, when I heard one of those Coyote's-Got-the-Kid blood-curdling screams from Greta.  I ran back out stepping in the blush on the floor and leaving blush tracks on my carpet.  The dog had somehow run back into the house and I guess had almost run down Greta in it's excitement to come back in and play.  Bandit was barking, the dog was running through my kitchen, stopping to put it's massive paws up on the counter and eat the baby's food and all the other leftover kid breakfast schmegma and oh YES I WAS SCREAMING AT THIS *#@^&^*% ANIMAL TO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, QUIT SCARING MY KID AND EATING MY FOOD AND OF ALL THINGS MAKING ME LATE YET AGAIN FOR ANOTHER APPOINTMENT!  

I couldn't get him out of the front door this time so I pushed him out the back door and closed it, but he jumped up and scratched so hard I thought he was going to tear up my backdoor.  I figured he would either destroy the door on the outside while Bandit destroyed the house on the inside trying to get to him even though we closed all the blinds, or he would dig a hole in my yard trying to get through the fence.  I went outside and opened the gate and he ran out.  
By this time it was getting even later, and I told everyone to get in the van so we could go.  But my boys had unhooked the garage door last night because they couldn't get it to go down and now I couldn't get it to go up.  I yelled at them to "FIX IT!"   and Braden shimmied up the hood of the van and across the roof to get it hooked back up.  I nearly scalped him when I thought it was together and hit the button.  He hit the deck just in Spidey-Man time.
  
Anyway, hooked up  and everyone in, we opened the garage door to back out and that stupid dog ran into the garage!  I had to do some fine finagling to get him back out and the door down in coinciding time.  By this time, the kids had dubbed him Marley because he looked and acted like the dog in Marley and Me-only on steroids.  He kept walking back and forth right in front of my two front tires so close I couldn't see him but for a flash of tail every once in a while.  It took me FOREVER to back out of my driveway and out of the cul-de-sac.  I was trying not to run over him-not because of some higher nonsense about "all God's creatures" blah,blah,blah- but because I didn't have ENOUGH TIME to  clean up the mess!  I already have enough to do. Oh sure-think what you will out there in cyberland, but I KNOW you are right there with me, if you know what I mean.

Not only did it take us several minutes to get out of the cul-de-sac, but that darned dog literally chased my van 4 blocks down the street.  We were 15 minutes late already to the dentist, and as I reached for my phone to call them and apologize and beg them not to cut us out of our appointments, I realized I left my phone  sitting on my bathroom counter.  There was NO WAY I was going to go back for it... I was too afraid that crazy Marley wouldn't let me back out.

You should have seen the looks on the dentist's and his hygienists' faces when the kids came in telling them some crazy story about why we were late.  Sometimes, you just can't make this stuff up.

 
It was funny when we finally got home that afternoon.  Greta walked into the house and stopped just before the hallway.  Then she carefully peeked, sticking her neck way out looking both ways several times like she was getting ready to cross railroad tracks, before venturing very cautiously into the open.  I'm sure she expected to get plowed over,  thinking Marley had been waiting for us in our house, eating our Cheerios and watching ESPN  with the remote in its paw.

And people always wonder why I'm late.    

HELP ME!!!!!

Physics test today! hopefully my good physics mo-jo carries over from yesterday when i had 8oz of shuger and cream loaded coffee (it was acwaly pretty good) took my meds and had a can of apricots with breakfast and it all made since! No joke! there were no more apricots this morning and i couldn't find another coffee bag. (See it works like tea bags but with caffeine) I still lisined to my musice and cilled out so I could go into hevy focas mode....or the closest I can come to it. I even slept in this morning. *u* -bizarre smily. 
May the heavens rain coprehenshion on my test! Hopefully I'm not disgraghpic in prayer too or I'll get what ever it is that I just spelled.

Other that that I've decided my solo for guard will be "eyes like yours" by shikira and I'll save thunder struck for my Seanoir year so I can have the coolest remember-me-by! And cutting that shikria song was heck in a keyboard. I couldn't figure out why gargeband would load citizen soldier but not the song I wanted it too. Turned out to be the stupidest resin. See on my desk top it said 
Eyes Like Yours (Ojos aises) MP3 well citizen soldier had a little mp so all i had to do was change the title so that MP became mp ....-_-....oh the mean things passing through my head that i could never say in the company of my darling mommy. things like "oh you mean and nasty computer why could you have not read that the first silly time. I'm quite upset with you."
got to finish getting around for school!
Peace!

Monday, January 19, 2009

Guess What?

Yesterday I went on a date with Eathen (aka "the boy" if you ask dad.) Nothing much daddy said no to any pg-13 movies so we saw bedtime stories. And no dad he didn't pull any thing in the theater, put the gun down and back away. For all with small children it's a good movie. plenty of giggles and chuckles. Crazy room survies dude included. After that we just wandered around the mall hung out in Barns and Noble, wandered in the park (It's an out door mall) When Zeke came to get me i get in the car and he looks at me with this 'did he just kiss you on the cheek?' look.
to which I reply, -see above-
*must flee and hide before daddy reads this*

From Bella

"Dude...that's all"- Bella
"Really Bella I pull up this blogg and that's all you want to say to the world?!?!?!" -Kaite
Bella *pause in thought* "Yep!"


Ah my sisters between giving them cookies and whacking them with a baseball bat you just gat'a love 'em!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

When I finish packing ... yeah, right!

Today's the day. That dreaded, horrible day. That day when I have to kiss my comfortable spot on the couch (about 45% sarcasm) goodbye and head back to school. Admittedly, these month-long winter breaks are pretty sweet, but I have absolutely NO idea where my break went. I feel like I just arrived home for break last week. 

But, of course, I haven't finished packing. And I'm missing two of my textbooks that were [supposedly] shipped here. Granted, the class required like six or seven (which, if you ask me, is just flipping ridiculous) of the little buggers, so OF COURSE I was bound to lose one or two. It's just the Law of Probability! Meh, whatever. I'll find them while I'm packing (I hope). 

By the way, not-so-great news on the laptop front. In case you haven't heard, I've been experiencing spots on my laptop screen for a while now. I thought they were dead pixels, because they're incredibly miniscule. Small enough that for a very long time, I mistook them for particularly stubborn dust particles. So I thought to myself, "Self, your computer IS still under warranty, and SURELY this is a warranty repair!" So off I go to the Apple Store back in like February '08. Sure enough, the genius (that's seriously what their repair guys are called - they work at the "Genius Bar") who looked at my machine said "Yup, that's a defect all right, we can repair that under warranty, but we'll have to ship it out." Of course, I was only home for the weekend, and the thought of being without my beloved laptop for that long (especially since I couldn't get in back for like two weeks) was absolutely terrifying. So I thanked him and said I'd be back some other time. So this Christmas break comes around (don't ask me why I didn't do it over the summer - I have no idea) and I take it into the Genius bar, tell them to pull up the case file (which they do), and sure enough, the guy says it's under warranty still. 

Here's where it gets nasty — while I was waiting for the next opportunity to bring my laptop in, I dropped it at some point, putting a nasty little dent in one of the corners. Guess what that means ... it's no longer a warranty repair. When the computer was sent off to the guys at the repair center, they called and said that they had tested my screen and it was "bruising", not "dying", which apparently is a very important distinction. So important, in fact, that it means the difference of me paying nothing at all and paying $1300 to get the whole darned thing fixed. 

I told him "no thank you, I'll just live with a bruising computer." ... or something like that. 

Gah. Applecare, you have officially let me down. *Sadface*. 

Now that I've wasted enough time, I guess it's probably time for me to start working on that whole "packing" business again. 

Blech. 

Friday, January 16, 2009

the keys

We spent 30 minutes tonight searching the house for a set of car keys. I could have sworn that I left them in Lisa's purse for her to use that night. Doors were slammed, purses were emptied, young girls were threatened with beatings if they didn't come up with the keys. Finally, Lisa found them, in my overnight bag that has a zipper just like her purse. Seems I put them in the wrong zippered bag. And I did what any Dad would do in this situation, I turned to my children looked them all in the eye and said;

"it is still your fault for making my mind turn to mush!"

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Odwalla: Jovial Juicers or Crack Conspirators?

So I just frantically ran out of the house at 8:09 because I thought my darling sister was sitting out in the frigid, arctic air of North Texas ... turns out that today is an eight-THIRTY day.

So I decided to go use the last of my Starbucks gift card. You know what I bought with it? Coffee, right? Because that's what any normal person would get at a coffeehouse, right?

Wrong. I bought orange juice. I LOVE this stuff! The ingredient list, I'm sure, is missing an ingredient: cocaine. This stuff is unbelievably good and addictive. For my birthday, or for like Martin Luther King day, or maybe World Ninja Day (it exists-look it up), if you need ideas, a box of Odwalla Orange Juice would be just ducky.

On an unrelated note, we have officially transitioned out of Good Music season. Only a few more months before Good Movie season! Gah!

On a further unrelated note, it is now 8:45 and Katie was supposed to be out 15 minutes ago. Excuse me while I go lobotomize myself with an ice pick. Grr.

--------------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

Scratch that

Recent developments indicate that I will no longer be picking up a shift this coming weekend (and by extension, also not making money), so I probably won't be heading back until Sunday or Monday. We shall see.

Pahkah, mahyee droozay!
(phonetic russian isn't nearly as impressive as it's cyrillic counterpart. *sadface at no cyrillic on my phone*)

--------------
Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone

And cue the ominous music ...

It's official. I'm enrolled in my SP09 classes. All 21 flipping hours of them. The lineup for this term is as follows:
  • IAS 2003: Global Community
  • IAS 2603: Governments Around the World
  • IAS 3003: National Security Policy
  • PSY 1113: Elements of Psychology
  • SOC 1113: Elements of Sociology
  • RUSS 2223: Intermediate Russian - Con't
  • PSY 4510: Psychology Practicum
That's pretty much the run-down for my classes. Because I had to take a couple of lower-division courses (actually, most of my courses are lower-division this term sadly), I'm also stuck in EARLY classes ... as in like "Oh my god AM" on MWF (9:30), and slightly better on TR (10:30). I only have a single class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which is way bueno, except I was really hoping to work my schedule this term so that I had classes TR or TWR. Instead, I have 4 classes on Monday and Friday, FIVE classes on Wednesday, and a single, solitary class on the original goal days of Tuesday and Thursday. Woo hoo. 

And now that books have been ordered, I've got boxes and large envelopes coming in from all over the US filled with potential knowledge. One of my classes (my NSP class) had SIX BOOKS! And one of them was written by the professor and printed by the University of Oklahoma press. Kickbacks, anyone? 

But that's my schedule in a nutshell. I'll probably head back late Saturday or early Sunday (work beckons). Classes start again on the 20th of January (on Tuesday). Oh ... and I hear we're swearing in some new guy in the government that day too. Huh. Go figure. I start work the same day as him. 

Fin. 

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

hay It's me!!!!! so far I've received divine intervention and passed Physics! three cheers for not failing! I also am now having to write solo work on both rifle, dance and flag for my own solo to 'What I've Done' and dance and flag work to 'Citizen Soldier' for a duet with Olivia. That at lest is fun, any one else who tried our crazy tricks probly would have killed each other but she has a Color Guard Angel, and my patron saint in Archangel Raphael (incarge of insane people, youth, healing, and traveling) so were covered on our Holy Grace!
Funny thing is we can't really write our own solos by our selves...it's no fun alone....well it's about' time for me to get ready to hit the hay.
Good Night!

Monday, January 12, 2009

OK, JOHNSONS!

What's up? I see you sneaking on here to peek, and to add yourself as contributors.

It's not rocket science. The posts don't have to be perfect, or the best writing in the world. They just have to be vignettes of your lives. Enquiring minds want to know what you are up to!
You'd better watch out. If I have to be the one to post on here, I have some incriminating photos. And some incriminating anecdotes. hee hee

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Christmas Letter, Part 2

Family, Friends and Curious Onlookers,


Well, here we are again . . . left to look back and lament another year’s useless energies spent. Wow - that was a pretty dark opening line for a Christmas letter. Some days being the parents of nine children can be pretty dark. It’s like pushing a boulder up hill, only to have some matchbox car get under our feet right at the edge of the summit. “CHEESE AND CRACKERS! Would it be too much to ask for these kids to pick up after themselves? You’re all grounded! Yes, even the baby!”

Actually we’ve had a very blessed 365 days. This past year once again brought another mouth to feed. We now have a sweet little girl, Lucianna Louise, whom the kids call Lulu. Luci was a petite 10 pound 10oz, 20 ½ inch long baby girl. That was not a misprint - that was her actual birth weight. When we went in for our last sonogram, the tech said she had sono’d a huge baby earlier that week, all of 9 pounds. When she was measuring our little pumpkin, she kept saying “Oh my gosh! It’s so big the machine won’t measure it!” and she ran out of the room to get the doctor. I don’t think she appreciated it when we all laughed at her. Luci was also, for once, born on the day we wanted - Leap Day. She won’t be able to drive until she’s technically 64, and she can never date while I am alive. I am in Dad Heaven. She has fallen right into the role of princess and has all of her siblings bending to her will, even Greta. They may have a little trouble carrying her around, but they do try. For our older kids, having to babysit her is the best “Just say No” program I could devise. They found out the hard way that babies have a reverse switch on their intestinal tract when Katie was feeding Luci a bottle one afternoon and she literally blew up her gut on her big sister and the living room leather couch. Eli made a frantic call to Zeke at school to find out how to clean the leather while Katie had to step into the shower, baby and all. Now that she is crawling around the house, we just have to find a way to put dust pads on her knees so she can do a little to earn her keep.

I am still working at Qualcomm, covering the state of Texas and traveling at least a couple days a week. Lisa is an RN at Children’s Medical Center working as a Referral Nurse Coordinator. She is also one of the first nurses in the nation to earn her CPEN – Certified Pediatric Emergency Nurse.

It has been a busy fall for the grown ups at our house. We were able to take a vacation of sorts without any kids! The kids’ wonderful Aunt Laurie came to stay with them while we went to San Diego for a business trip. After sleeping the first day and a half, Lisa hit her stride and was seeing the sights and shopping while I was in meetings. We stayed through the weekend, spending an entire day at Disneyland (the kids haven’t forgiven us for leaving them behind on this one). We watched the sun go down right from our table, it was a beautiful scene. I took a picture of the sunset and palm trees with “Ta-Da!” and sent it to Zeke, who had come home as reinforcements for Aunt Laurie. Zeke turned around and sent me a picture of our living room and kitchen in complete disarray with “Ta-da” as the caption. Poor Aunt Laurie was on duty that week when the plague hit our band of children. This one burned fast and furious and pulled all the kids, including their cousin and aunt, into illness. Poor Aunt Laurie. . . I think she is still shell shocked and mumbling in backward Latin.

Greta is still skinny as a rail and full of energy. She started preschool this fall at Little Sinners and Scallywags and she is all sharp angles and no tush. This year at Halloween while all the other kids were going as Yoda, a stewardess or as Spartans, Greta went as a Darth Vader Ballerina. A Darth Vader helmet and a pink tutu made up this little outfit. It’s a good thing that she is a cutie, as she can truly be a little pistol when she is angry. It is funny to see her standing with a hand on her hip deftly running the boys ragged with her commands. They take pretty good care of her, and she calls Eli her “Santa.”

Vianne entered the world of public kindergarten this year and immediately had an admirer, who gave her a note that said, “You’re the reason the flowers bloom in the spring”. This is obviously someone that I, as a Dad, will need to watch if he is this smooth in kindergarten. She is enjoying reading and writing books, but she is also learning the hard way that permanent markers are truly permanent, and that Mom’s wrath can seem permanent as well. I can’t believe that we went for almost 20 years with this kitchen table and it is just now that someone put something on the table that will not come up.

Izabella is in third grade this year getting good grades and being a model citizen - don’t begrudge us at least ONE out of the nine behave like this. She plays soccer in the spring and fall and was a force of nature on defense. Often she would dart into a group of girls and opposing players would fly out in the other direction. She is on the rock climbing team and seemed to really enjoy her new Spiderman abilities. On a gentler note, Bella donated her long hair to Locks of Love this year. She now has a little bob cut that she says is “bouncy and delightful!” This new look, along with her funky new glasses, makes Bella look like an entirely different little girl.

Asa has been busy as well with all the things that a 10 year old boy can be. He and I went to Webeloes Woods Scout Camp and enjoyed four days with the heat and bugs. He played soccer in the spring and football in the fall – which Texans worship with a fanatical zeal. Again this year at practice, I told him, “Boy, your going to have to crack some heads to get on the field on Saturday.” Then I pointed to some likely targets and said, in my most gentle football- dad voice, “Smack those three down, son.” Asa also had braces put on this year that we had to crank wider every night to expand his palate – who came up with this medieval torture device? That makes three in braces right now. But the braces must not be breaking Asa’s style since he was the recipient of a kiss on the bus. What can we do - he’s got that animal magnetism from the Johnson’s side, and that quick temper – I mean charm - from the Thomas side. Asa and I went to Camp Grady Spruce for a week as part of the elementary school that Asa attends. Another dad and I chaperoned 8 kids in the cabin. While all the other parents were freaking out over having to keep track of that many kids, I was thinking “Just 8? Why don’t you give me something really challenging? I don’t have to change anyone’s diaper? Piece of cake compared to home. SHEWTT!”

Braden is now our lone middle school student in the 7th grade. He has managed to not be involved in any police chases or underwear up the flagpole (his or anyone else’s), for which we were very grateful. But we did have another instance of near incineration of our home by good ol’ B. It happened, as most things like this do, when Mom and Dad were gone. Braden decided to pop some popcorn and put it in for about 2 minutes too long. While it was burning and smoke was rolling out, Braden was oblivious, playing a video game on the computer. If Eli and Asa had not come down the stairs and turned the microwave off we might have moved in with you!

Braden also started a new practice in our house, Grammar Pushups. If anyone speaks in a manner that is not in accordance with the King’s English, they are forced to do pushups equal to the number of years they have been on this earth. They will either learn to speak like civilized folks, or they will be strong enough to dig a ditch. At the rate Braden is going, he will be pretty buff by high school.

Braden just finished up a science competition in which the project was to create a passable cream soda. Can you believe that?! Making soda pop for science! Color me frustrated, but I made Kool-Aid for years and was never given a grade! Braden was on the climbing team this fall, but I think mostly because he thought the coach was cute.

Braden and Eli shared a number of experiences this last year due to their membership in the same Boy Scout troop, like scout camp, and they drag me along. Why we went to summer camp in southwest Texas in the summer is still a mystery: One day it was 108 degrees! You just can’t do much but sweat when it’s that hot, and let me tell you - the horses are none to happy to have your sweaty little scout body climb on them when it is that sweltering. While Braden was in camp earning his snorkeling, horsemanship and leatherwork merit badges, Eli was up in the mountains on a High Adventure camp. In this camp, the scouts re-enacted the life of the 7th Calvary. You remember the 7th Calvary - led by General Custer? Not the sharpest arrows in the quiver. A couple of other dads and I decide that we should hike up to these boys for a visit. Fifteen miles and four thousand feet of elevation change later we limped into camp just in time for dinner. It didn’t look that bad on paper, but it really was THAT bad. And do you know what Eli said after all that effort? “What are you doing here Dad?” Earlier in the spring the boys were in a scout ceremony that involved Indian costumes. Eli commandeered the role of the “Brave with the Flaming Arrows.” He was supposed to shoot these flaming arrows into the creek bed, far away from the rest of the campers during a ceremony, where two other scouts would make sure they were extinguished. He got a little too into the role and how it showed off his new man-boy pecs, and started to accidently rain arrows down on the ceremony participants. Talk about lighting a fire under you. No injuries were incurred, but I think a few braves may have soiled their loincloths, if you know what I mean.

Both boys have been forbidden to have girlfriends. I told them the same thing that Grandpa Leroy told me, “Women are nothing but trouble, Boy”. Of course, they listen to me about as well as I listened to Grandpa.

Eli is in and out of trouble as usual this year. I am thinking about having the new braces in his head fitted with a shock mechanism and a GPS unit. If you remember from our earlier missives, Elias was a bit of a troubled student as he found the pull of girls and football to be too much to handle. He pulled it together in the spring, and was able to be on the track team as a pole vaulter, but the allure of football and cheerleaders was still there. This year, his freshman team has done well and he was awarded “Scholar Athlete” for the highest GPA on his football team. But, he is still having girl trouble and has caused Mom to spew fire out her ears over his antics. This caused a great deal of grief for our young Casanova and he is now finding out what a short leash feels like again – go ahead and ask him why Mom cut his hair he was growing long short again..

Katie is a junior at Sachse High School and is now 16 and is not driving, yet. I’m not quite ready for the extra gray hair. She is involved in Color Guard/Winter Guard, Literary Club and Beta Club and is taking a boatload of Advance Placement classes. She has struggled mightily with Algebra II, finding it quite a mystery. But one day, in a twist of fate, Katie discovered that there was one thing she got - imaginary numbers – of all things. To quote Katie, “I understand you Imaginary Numbers, you’re real to me.” She had a very busy year. She and I went on a band trip to California seeing the sights. Another wrinkle in her life is a boy, named Ethan. Ethan has been made to realize that Katie’s Daddy will kill him like a dog and hide the body in a swamp for the gators to eat if he makes his little girl sad, or even makes her sniffle. Katie also went through an audition process for acting. She cleared the Dallas area round and made it to the regionals in Austin. It was a great experience and the people at the audition really liked Katie’s enthusiasm and energy. I am still getting used to my daughter looking like a young woman. She went shopping for her formal this fall with her Mom and some friends. A couple of the dresses never made it off the hook to Katie: “Mom, you know Dad will not think that is modest enough.” That’s my girl.

Zeke is in his second year at OU, but is a junior based on his credit hours and is majoring in Indecision. Oops. . . I mean he is majoring in International Security Studies and/or Psychology, but now the minors are starting to add on. Russian is still on the list, but also are Linguistics, Sociology and Criminology. We are continuing to find out that a free ride isn’t really free. (They fail to mention fees and books and such.) He is sporting a room of his own on the 12th floor of one of the towers and actually has his own (borrowed) wheels. While Uncle Rafe is in Iraq, Zeke is driving his car. It’s a stick shift, which Zeke had never driven before, so his Grandpa Thomas taught him how on the military base in South Carolina. Now that he’s more mobile he comes back from college to see us a little more, which is nice.

On one of those trips home, he and Katie wanted to go see The Dark Knight, but this met with strong opposition from Mom:

Kids - “Mom, Why can’t we go see this movie? We are both old enough.”
Mom - “Because it has EVIL in it!”
Kids – “But Mom, even Bambi has EVIL in it!”
Mom – “It is not the same.”

This is now one of the kid’s favorite lines to use as a reason you can’t go out, see a TV program or listen to a song.

Well has you can see, things are still a chaotic mess here 6004 Crest Court. People often say, “I would like to be a fly on the wall at the Johnson house”, but I wouldn’t recommend it. It’s far too noisy - it would hurt your little fly ears. You would probably get smashed when one brother body-checked another brother into the wall, from which you wouldn’t be able to escape since your feet are stuck in some peanut butter and jelly conglomeration smeared there by sticky little hands. The laundry piles up and the folks at the grocery store sent us a Christmas card as a thank you. We still drive that 15 passenger van, spending all our money on diapers and therapy bills and shopping in our own storage room to see what hand-me-downs you get. I am just waiting for the day the boys get bigger than me so I can score some newer duds.

You are all in our prayers for a safe and happy holiday season. We pray that our faith be strong, that our hearts be humble, and that our hands don’t string up one of the children just to set an example for his or her sibling...

Merry Christmas to you all,

Steve, Lisa, Zeke, Katharina, Elias, Braden, Asa, Izabella, Vianne, Greta and Lucianna

Monday, January 5, 2009

The Annual Christmas Letter, Part 1

This blog would not be complete without the annual Johnson Tribe Christmas letter. Lisa and Steve pore over it every year, sweating the details with lots of red ink until Lisa finally gives it the official okey-dokey. People request this letter who don't even know them.

What makes it so special? Well... most people write about how awesome their kids are in their holiday letters. Steve and Lisa hit the highlights - but they are the highlights of the worst moments of the year. And they are hilarious. Fights break out if someone doesn't get a letter.

So I will post it in Part 2.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Surprize!

Mandy (my sister in law) and I (Lisa's sister) decided she and Tammi needed a blog. So I thought I would make one for her, although she probably won't ever read it or write in it because she's too busy doing laundry for a household of 11 people.

(I'm going to beg Tammi to write a blog next.)

BUT! She has a household of 11 people, 9 of whom are fabulous kids who just happen to be my nieces and nephews. So actually this is a family project for the kids to write about their day and things that they think and all the things that happen to them. Lisa can post pictures now that she has a super cool digital camera and Steve can feel connected to his family when he's on the road.

Ok, kids - RULES!
No cursing of any kind! Aunt Wally will send Professor Froggy to have a word with you. It won't be pretty. Use genteel language. Don't be a hater. Remember, we all need a cornucopia of love, even if it's virtual. Go ask your mom and dad what virtual cornucopias are. Don't tell them I said to ask and then have fun watching them figure out how to answer that one. :) hee hee