If only I were a minority...

Okay, seriously. I am so sick and tired of seeing scholarship applications that say they were made "in part, to help minorities and disabled students." Seeing as how I'd really rather NOT permanently lose the usage of some part or piece of my body, my only other viable option is "minority."

So let's put our heads together, people. What minority group can I claim? Seriously. Maybe somewhere in our family, way WAY back, there was a South African? That would work.

Or maybe we could figure out how to claim "Cherokee"? Because that would be pretty sweet too. PLEASE. It could mean the difference of thousands of dollars if someone decides to confess a torrid love affair years ago with Dancing Bear or Ling Nguyen or L—a (pronounced "luh-dash-ah") ... Johnson.

So start 'fessing people. Because my shot at grad school hangs dangerously in the balance.