The Fatal Folly of Pubescent Pedestrians

The following is a brief editorial I wrote for The Stampede (Sachse High School's student newspaper) back when the staff was submitting its end-of-year commentaries that, per tradition, we all published in the last issue. This wasn't ever actually submitted, but I thought it was somewhat entertaining. I remember the day I wrote it too — I nearly ran over someone on my way to school. Enjoy, dear readers ...

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Common sense has become an endangered species of the teenage mind. Students live in a world where they take their very existence for granted. It is the stereotypical – and often correct presumption that teenagers have an “untouchable” attitude; they feel as though nothing can touch them. They are wrong.

But what authority do I have to stand here and make such statements? Picture this: Miles Road, 6:30 a.m. I drive a 15-passenger van, a 2-to-3-ton behemoth that defies all manner of automotive assault. Ahead of me is a high school student, on her way into the building a little early. Now, 45 miles per hour may not seem very fast, but buses don’t stop on a dime exactly. She’s standing in the median (the part where people don’t drive, usually covered in grass or other manner of greenery), as if waiting for some divine sign to begin the last stretch of her treacherous journey. But, as I come within the last 25 feet of where she stands, she starts across.

Allow me to illuminate something to any pedestrian who ever thought it was okay to step out into traffic simply because there is an array of white lines on the ground in front of you: you’re stupid. You know what, you’re right; you have every legal right to cross that street, because, after all, pedestrians have right-of-way. But no manner of legal babble is going to stop that car from running you over.

But luckily, you have the option of suing the driver. There’s a catch, however: you have to survive. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter.

The bottom line is this: you cannot win a fight with a moving vehicle. Crosswalks were designed to confine pedestrians to a specific location, safe from traffic, but they don’t make you immune to the consequences of stepping out in front of it. For the sake of everyone involved, just look both ways.